You really weren't kidding when you said you'd been giving this some thought, huh? But sure, let's say this magical person exists who not only doesn't mind dealing with my goals - but actually supports them. What happens when they realise what kind of person they're shacked up with? Or when they find out about my past?
( You opened this can of worms, Balthus ... )
And I don't see why it can't be both. Adorable, pretty smart ... just take the compliment, B. You might not get another one for a while.
you're always looking for reasons not to trust somebody. that's how you stay one step ahead of everyone else, right? but true love isn't like that, i don't think. because if you're one step ahead, isn't that just the same thing as leaving your partner behind?
Anyway, that's the thing: I actually agree with you, which is why it's better for me to make sure I don't get involved with anyone's idea of true love. I wouldn't be able to trust them, and that wouldn't be fair. It'd all end in tears and it'd be all my fault.
[There's a pause, for about half a minute. He'd been pretty sure he had that line of thought going in the right direction, and now all of a sudden the line has become a hopeless snarl and he's pretty sure that doesn't sound right but he doesn't know enough to actually dispute it.]
well, then, what about making up your own idea of it? instead of trying to use someone else's.
I mean it's possible, but the other person would have to be pretty invested in me to want to go along with whatever I come up with. They'd also have to be fine with the "arrangements" I have with certain nobles, and not ask too many questions about where I go at night, and
( Blehhhh he's making himself sad. Less of that. )
i kinda thought that was obvious. i can't just go and think about doing better for myself if it means walking out on people i care about while i'm at it!
it'd be different if it were something we were doing together. besides, you've been in your fair share of dangerously hot water. and i try not to ask too many questions whenever possible.
( Give him a minute or ten there, Balthus, because this is a lot to take in.
It isn't that Yuri isn't interested - how could he not be, Balthus is one of the most loyal, strong, ridiculous people he's ever met - but rather he'd never let himself entertain such a thought. He's spent so long convincing himself that he doesn't have time for love, doesn't deserve it, won't ever find someone who'd be interested in his lifestyle, that now that someone's willing to take a chance on him? It's a little difficult to wrap his head around, to say the least.
As such, he's going to buy himself a little more time with: )
listen, pal. if you're not into the idea, you can say it. wouldn't be the first time i took my shot at somebody way outta my league, so i'm man enough to take it.
but if you're holding back from something you want 'cause you're hung up on yourself, or who you are or what you've done, then as your friend i can't in good conscience let you let a good thing go by like that. what kind of bro would i be, letting you miss out on a chance to be happy?
see, and like i said, i can respect that. it's no hard feelings, and you can still count on me for anything, that's never gonna change. i promise.
but i think you're wrong about yourself, yuri, and someday someone's gonna come along who makes you believe you're as special as you are, and i hope when they do, that you can take a chance on
( Balthus' pre-emptive rejection response makes something twist low in Yuri's chest, followed by a spread of warmth at the tender sincerity in the other man's words. He's always known he was soft underneath all those muscles — brute strength keeping a sensitive core well-protected — but Yuri never imagined Balthus would offer him that part of himself as well.
It's humbling to say the least, not to mention deeply terrifying, but if Balthus is willing to try ... )
Yes, you fool. Yes. Don't make me say it again.
If you're really willing to commit to being an idiot by taking a chance on me, then I'm willing to do the same for you. I can't promise it'll be anything like what you expect, or that I'll be any good at it, but.
hey, hey, i am what i am, so i might as well commit to it 100%, right?
[Balthus...]
listen. i already know why you do all that stuff you do, and when i don't know why you do it, i still trust that you're doing it for a good reason. i've got your back, just like always.
you go wherever you need to go, and i'll go where i need to go. but maybe when we're done, we'll come back to each other, huh?
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ashenputtel) wrote2021-04-04 06:21 pm
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You really weren't kidding when you said you'd been giving this some thought, huh? But sure, let's say this magical person exists who not only doesn't mind dealing with my goals - but actually supports them. What happens when they realise what kind of person they're shacked up with? Or when they find out about my past?
( You opened this can of worms, Balthus ... )
And I don't see why it can't be both. Adorable, pretty smart ... just take the compliment, B. You might not get another one for a while.
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you're always looking for reasons not to trust somebody. that's how you stay one step ahead of everyone else, right? but true love isn't like that, i don't think. because if you're one step ahead, isn't that just the same thing as leaving your partner behind?
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Anyway, that's the thing: I actually agree with you, which is why it's better for me to make sure I don't get involved with anyone's idea of true love. I wouldn't be able to trust them, and that wouldn't be fair. It'd all end in tears and it'd be all my fault.
So yeah, I think I'll pass.
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[There's a pause, for about half a minute. He'd been pretty sure he had that line of thought going in the right direction, and now all of a sudden the line has become a hopeless snarl and he's pretty sure that doesn't sound right but he doesn't know enough to actually dispute it.]
well, then, what about making up your own idea of it? instead of trying to use someone else's.
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( Blehhhh he's making himself sad. Less of that. )
Why are you so invested in this, anyway?
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it'd be different if it were something we were doing together. besides, you've been in your fair share of dangerously hot water. and i try not to ask too many questions whenever possible.
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( Is Yuri misunderstanding something?? )
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but hey, since when do i ever listen to good reason, anyway?
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( Give him a minute or ten there, Balthus, because this is a lot to take in.
It isn't that Yuri isn't interested - how could he not be, Balthus is one of the most loyal, strong, ridiculous people he's ever met - but rather he'd never let himself entertain such a thought. He's spent so long convincing himself that he doesn't have time for love, doesn't deserve it, won't ever find someone who'd be interested in his lifestyle, that now that someone's willing to take a chance on him? It's a little difficult to wrap his head around, to say the least.
As such, he's going to buy himself a little more time with: )
I thought you only liked women!
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Fortunately, great reason has indeed met its match in Balthus von Albrecht.]
so did i! actually, i still do like a lot of women...
so i guess that's still the same. just it's not "only", is all.
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And you really think you could be happy being with someone like me? Get that true love thing you want?
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but if you're holding back from something you want 'cause you're hung up on yourself, or who you are or what you've done, then as your friend i can't in good conscience let you let a good thing go by like that. what kind of bro would i be, letting you miss out on a chance to be happy?
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Alright.
1/3
but i think you're wrong about yourself, yuri, and someday someone's gonna come along who makes you believe you're as special as you are, and i hope when they do, that you can take a chance on
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IGNORE THAT
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really??
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It's humbling to say the least, not to mention deeply terrifying, but if Balthus is willing to try ... )
Yes, you fool. Yes. Don't make me say it again.
If you're really willing to commit to being an idiot by taking a chance on me, then I'm willing to do the same for you. I can't promise it'll be anything like what you expect, or that I'll be any good at it, but.
I'll try, Balthus. I will.
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[Balthus...]
listen. i already know why you do all that stuff you do, and when i don't know why you do it, i still trust that you're doing it for a good reason. i've got your back, just like always.
you go wherever you need to go, and i'll go where i need to go. but maybe when we're done, we'll come back to each other, huh?
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Coming home to Balthus von Albrecht ... you know, I could get used to that.
So, since we've got all that out of the way: are you going to take me on a date?
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before we get to that...i don't suppose i can borrow some gold?
[1/2]
[2/2]
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[spoilers: he was not, strictly speaking, kidding]
i'll figure it out. can't have you thinking i'm a lowlife or something! now, let's take it back a couple steps so i can ask you properly and all, huh?
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Balthus. Be serious for a moment. If you need money, I've got more than enough put away to give you a little extra if you've run short again.
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but i've got my honor, too. i can't have you thinking gold's more important to me than you.
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Sorry this took a hot minute, Noct event kicked my ass!
no worries!
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