ashenputtel | IC Inbox

See, you can't go around saying things like "who's got time for beers and brawling" without me getting at least a little suspicious.

Anyway. I kind of expected you to have needed a bail-out by now; I put some money aside and everything, just in case things ended up going south. You're really telling me you don't need it?

Aw, c'mon. I'm trying to do like we talked about, remember? Something different than just what I'd be doing if we were all back in Abyss. So, I thought about what I'd be doing back there and I've been...doing stuff that isn't that.

Hhhhhhhhhhh.

[Presumably he just sighed there, and the voice-to-text app helpfully picked it up for him.]

I wish I was, sometimes. But I'm really trying, y'know? And not just taking the easy way out.

( Yuri's response doesn't come right away. It isn't that he didn't imagine Balthus would try - quite the opposite, in fact - but rather he'd imagined that it would only take a few days for him to throw in the towel and give up.

Pretty cold of him to only prepare for that particular eventuality, huh? )

Well hey, looks like you've gone ahead and proven me wrong already. I'm gonna have to think about it more carefully the next time you try to get me to bet on something.

( A beat. )

Still, if you're not hurting for Currents then I'll go ahead and divert those funds elsewhere. I'm curious though: what's "stuff that isn't that?"

You really were all ready to take care of me like that, huh?

Well, think about it. Back home, we'd be holed up under the monastery, right? So I've been getting out and walking around the city — which, let me tell you, is a lot easier to do when nobody's out for your head! And if I were looking for a good time, I'd go out and find some beer and a brawl, like you said, so I hang around this room they gave me and learn to use this device thing instead. Sure gives me a headache sometimes, but I think it's getting easier.

And back home, when my money ran out, I'd start looking for loans or trying to win it back on a gamble. So...maybe when it runs out here, I'll go see if I can get somebody to hire me for a job. Or something. There's gotta be something I can do that's honest work...

Don't go getting all cute on me, now. Maybe I just wanted to save myself the headache of you having to come and ask - how about that.

( Pretty rich coming from the guy who dropped everything to rescue Balthus himself when he felt that tell-tale pull, but you know? That's Yuri. Talking about his feelings is way more difficult than just ... doing.

Anyway, the real point here us that yes, he'd been ready to take care of Balthus like that - but maybe he should also be putting a little more faith in his ability to stick to his word.

That's what a real Bash Bro would do, right? Prepare for his friend at his worst, but believe in him at his best? )

Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into these life-changing plans of yours, B. I've gotta say - I'm pretty impressed with your little game of opposites. It souds like it's working pretty well for you so far.

... The job thing, though. Let me know if you end up with any problems there. It might not be much, but if push comes to shove I know someone who's always looking for more help pouring drinks and kicking out drunks.

Edited 2021-05-07 01:40 (UTC)

[It's tempting to say it's been a lot harder than he's been letting on. That it's been unusually hard to embrace, the prospect of striking out alone when he'd gotten so used to the Ashen Wolves behaving like a self-sustaining unit together. That sometimes he's gone out walking and his feet have turned reflexively in the direction of Yuri's halfway house, and he's had to catch himself consciously and make himself turn away.

It would've been easy to just take the help. Go out and splurge with it. Maybe even suggest Yuri come with him, he could've done that. If he were doing all of this for his own sake, maybe he would've slacked off on it by now.

But that's just the thing. It's not just for him, and he's not just the only one in this. They're in it together — and that's the real reason why Yuri lost his bet. He'd assumed he was just betting against Balthus. He didn't consider that what he was really betting against was the two of them as a team.]

Hey, I've gotta start somewhere, right? And if one thing doesn't work out, then I'll just have to try something else. I've been hearing that a guy can make some pretty quick funds by fighting in the Ruby Underground, but I haven't gone down. Too easy. That's an old-life thing.

[He really, really wants to go fight in the Ruby Underground. Fuck.]

Oh, yeah? So who's this mysterious benefactor you've got in mind?

Just someone I've done a few odd jobs for since I got here. Don't worry about it.

( This conversation has been ... yeah. It's been a lot for Yuri, who's slowly coming to terms with the fact that, more than anything, Balthus is a creature of heart. He'd been down on his luck when he found his way to Abyss, sure, and in the future they share together he isn't without his fair share of low points — but for something like this? Something that really matters to him?

This isn't the first time he's gone ahead and taken the initiative to do something off've his own back. Yuri remembers all too well the chaos he'd caused in trying to stop his mother's Relic from being sold off—

But that had been sincerity then, too. Just like this is sincerity. When Balthus believes something is worth doing he commits himself to it to the fullest extent of his soul, and it touches something deep in Yuri's heart to realise that this time? He's finally doing it for himself.

... Or so he thinks. )

Anyway. I'd be the first to admit that don't usually like being proven wrong, but in this case? I think I could learn to get used to it.

Who knew that all you'd need was a little nudge back towards the sun, huh?

A guy can go a long way once the chains come off, I guess.

[That's how it was, wasn't it? Lady Rhea unbound their chains and set them free, after all the Aelfric business was over. Shame it didn't last long. Maybe they all could've done really well for themselves, if the war Yuri remembers hadn't come along.

But who can say, really? That's all in his future, and all in Yuri's past.]

Hey, did you hear our professor's up and bought a place? And some land, too. I've been thinking about checking it out — maybe there's some wildlife out there that a guy could turn around for a profit.

[...Wait.]

I mean, not that I need it. I've been buying food from the market, just like anybody else.

I did. I even offered to help him with a little friendly garden design; it's been a while, but I actually spent a year or so as an assistant gardener when I was a kid. I remember the basics.

( Imagine that ... )

And hey, don't go backtracking on yourself on my account. I'm not your mom or the Professor, I just

( Goddess, there's no way to put it without coming across as either overly invested (which he actually might be) or a sanctimonious prick (which he'd hate to be). )

Never mind. Do what you want, yeah? Hunt wildlife, turn profit. I just don't want you to feel obliged to get involved with anything underhand on my account, is all.

Edited 2021-05-08 01:01 (UTC)

Nah, it's not that. I was just thinking.

[Always a dangerous prospect, when you're Balthus von Albrecht.]

Those used to be some pretty good days, remember? When we'd bring home something that was worth something. A nice big kill, a real good one. And then that night everybody ate a little better.

...It wasn't always pretty, but it made sense, you know? The four of us down there in Abyss. Guess maybe I'm just feeling a little nostalgic, is all.

... Yeah, they were. Without the three of you by my side, I can't say I know what would have happened down there.

( Abyss benefited from having the four of them work together as a pack, not just from the machinations of one lone, scheming wolf. )

Hey.

Do you want to come over for dinner?

[Goddess help him — hey, wait, is he allowed to still think that? If it's true that the goddess was all just a big sham all along? Huh...

Eh, well —

Goddess help him, a weird sense of relief crashes over him at that brief, simple message, enough so that he actually stands up a minute just to sit back down and do a proper sink down into the unfamiliar, cushy sofa that came standard with his government apartment.]

Are you cooking? Not that I'd decline either way, mind you.

( Balthus isn't the only one who's a little surprised by the force of his relief. Yuri's shoulders relax from where they were beginning to stiffen just a little: )

Yeah, yeah, I'm cooking.

How about I roast us a chicken? I don't need to scrimp on butter here like I did back home, so the skin will be nice and crisp. Who could say no to that?

Hey, there's an idea. How about you take that money you aren't spending on my debts, and we have ourselves a hearty meal instead?

...Wait, just how much did you set aside, anyway?

( A damn sight more than could cover a single meal, Balthus! Think a couple of hundred Currents. )

You know, just enough to cover basics. Maybe a week or two of food.

Again, don't worry about it.

Yuri...

[He sits back against the cushions, strangely warmed all over again by the unstated concern in the — admittedly sort of cynical — gesture, and unbeknownst to him, the ruby set into his skin begins to glow faintly, radiating that same fond surprise.]

What did you do to get it?

Since when did that matter, huh?

I'm adaptable. Getting paid for Synchrony is fine and all, but extra work isn't hard to come by for someone with my particular skillset.

Since you have a known bad habit of taking stuff on yourself so that somebody else doesn't have to, pal.

The "what" of it doesn't really matter so much. I guess it's just...if you're running around in the dark, making sacrifices, you don't have to be doing all that alone. I care about what happens to you, y'know?

I don't need to know all your secrets. I just need to know that you know I've got your back.

Balthus. When I found you in that labyrinth you were bleeding out all over the place - all because of me. Because of decisions I made, and because of a mess I dragged us all into.

I'm pretty sure that forfeits me of any right I had to have you look out for me now, Bash Bro or otherwise.

Getting yourself into trouble? Yeah, that's one thing. Getting into trouble on my account ... the way I see it, the least I can do is give you a break from that.

Listen. Just tell me one thing, honestly.

Do you think I hold that against you? Working with Aelfric, the ritual business, that whole bit. Or is it just that you think I should hold it against you?

( Big Sigh. )

Cards on the table, yeah? Man to man, all that:

I know you don't hold it against me - or that the version of you from my "timeline" doesn't hold it against me. We've got a future together where we're pretty close.

( Something tightens in Yuri's chest. )

But I've been doing a lot of thinking since I got here - thinking about myself, about the things I did, about how I treated the people closest to me. Claude was right when he said that this place was good for finding ways to be happy, and

( The text stops abruptly for a moment. )

The way I've lived my life, I don't know if I really deserve that. I don't know if I even know how to do that. I don't want you to stick with me, just like you did back home, and end up throwing away your chance at it.

( If only he were from far enough post-game that he knew just how happy Balthus was by his side in Abyss, or that they'd end up staying together as a fearsome duo for the rest of their lives 8') )

[Strange. For just a second there, it felt like something twinged in his chest. Something distant, and not altogether his own.]

Yeah. If he's someone who would hold it against you, boss, then he's no version of me. Period.

But I get it, now. You're worried you're going to bring me down with you. It's the same reason I'd never bother a real friend with my own financial problems — no reason to get them involved in all of my own troubles, and all.

So, I can respect that. But let me just say this: I can't be happy if you're in trouble. Just like I'm not happy when Constance is out in the sun doing her little self-browbeating act, or when Hapi's wound up tight about letting her guard down and getting somebody hurt.

There's things you gotta do and things I gotta do, and maybe they won't always line up. But the only way you're gonna be responsible for my unhappiness is if something happens to you, and I could've done something about it, and I didn't. All right?

( It takes a while for Yuri's response to come through. Balthus's sincerity strikes a chord within him that he's never really felt before: it's different to his conversations with Bernadetta and Ashe — different because he already knows the full extent of the person Yuri can be — and yet, for whatever reason, he's decided that he can still make him happy.

Yuri doesn't understand it. True warmth isn't something he's experienced a great deal of in his life, but something tells him that, in this instance, it would be unkind to push it away. )

You're a good person, you know. Better than I ever gave you credit for back then.

( No time like the present to start making up for it though, right? )

Anyway, this is probably the part where I say "you don't need to worry about me, Balthus," and then you say "don't even try it, pal, you're talking to the Undefeated King of Grand Gestures" - so how about we just skip over all that?

The whole point of this was to let you make the decision on your own. If you can respect why I've made mine, then the least I can do is respect you now that you've made yours. There'll always be a place for you with me if that's really where you want to be, Balthus.

Always.

It's pretty cute when you take the words right out of my mouth.

So, listen. I'm gonna keep on trying to find my own way with all of this, because you think it's something I ought to do, and I think you're right. I'm glad you're not letting me just take the easy road, when it comes to this fresh start I've got.

I guess what I'm just thinking is, just because we're on our own separate paths doesn't have to mean they're going in opposite directions. Maybe sometimes we'll wind up side by side. You know?

Yeah, I know, I'm downright adorable.

And. I'd like that, B. Who knows: if I'm not really your boss, and you're not really my colleague, maybe we can spend a little more time just being friends.

IC Inbox | noctiumrp

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